There are days when I get down, and I mean seriously down. It’s like there is a house full of bricks laying on my chest and breathing slows to only what is needed for survival. Words become irrelevant and all function focuses on staying sane.
On these days my capacity to write and be creative are significantly hindered and if I do find it within myself to do anything, it has a darkness; a brooding quality that is both real and merciless in its delivery.
But then there are days when I feel like my skin is expanding and I have bubbles of life source flowing through me and around me. These are the 4D days, when I create, sometimes with copious amounts of energy and motivation.
On these days I produce hour long CDs full of spontaneously improvised music, write 10,000 word documents full of ideas, thoughts and inspiration and sometimes even paint to express the emergence of new life spilling out from my veins.
Today I live in between these realms. Today I live in 2D/3D land where I can hop from one side of the track to the other as I choose. I’ve tried to choose 3D for the most part and managed to get through enough to feel that the day was productive.
But why not aim for 4D, you ask? Well, there comes some consequences with 4D land. I become so focussed that I forget time, the need to eat (and therefore, forget about the needs of others). I can write until my hands are too stiff to hold onto a knife and fork yet feel compelled to keep going until the creation is complete. I can continue on like this for days at a time and in doing so, put my physical and mental health in a state of shock when the energy dies down.
So today I am grateful that I am able to recognise the difference in these levels of motivation, focus and energy. I am grateful for the days that feel a little ho-hum and yet are the ones I can control the most. I am grateful to live in a 3D world because this is where I can successfully merge my creativity with my self discipline and focus and actually finish projects. Actually speak to clients. Actually complete work.
My thought for the day?
Don’t envy people who can manage to set aside every other facet of who they are to achieve something remarkable. It comes with a cost every time and sometimes the cost takes a long time to overcome.
Instead pray for them. Encourage them to pace themselves without discouraging them from the flow of creativity. Go the extra mile and make dinner even though you know they may have no idea what the time is and forgive them for forgetting about you.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. If you happen to be like me and have 4D days too, you’ll know that your strengths are often your weakness in disguise and that we all need a little bit of sensitivity to come our way while we create that which we were born to bring to this earth.
May the rest of your week bring deep joy to your life.