Do you ever have those days where no matter how much time or freedom you have you don’t actually do the things you said you’d do? Yeah…
Don’t get me wrong. I have had some productivity today – but it’s not necessarily the kind that others can see.
You see today I decided to draw a line in the sand. One that matters for my personal health and wellbeing. One that has a more positive flow on affect for those around me, but ultimately, one that clarifies things for me.
Today I informed my clients that there would be some changes to my work schedule as well as some changes in the services being offered. I just felt that without doing this I would not stick to my plan and be disciplined enough to hold on to the boundaries I had set.
Do I feel better/ different/ terrified/ unsure/ etc.? Yep. All of that.
The point I suppose is that no one can really define these boundaries for me… except me. No one can determine how much is too much except me. And when I find myself sleeping poorly, becoming more forgetful and choosing to let chaos creep back into my cyber and real world environments, I know something’s not right.
I’d love to wake up in the morning and find my currently mid-clean-up office sparkling with all the files and items organised, the washing put away and the floors clean enough to eat off but let’s be honest, my hubby does enough 😛
Seriously though, the lesson I have learned today is this:
Choices are bloody hard. But until I choose, I keep myself locked in limbo and this is a much more negative place for me to be that only creates more negativity, doubt and poor self confidence.
I’ve come to the realisation that until I can chose for me, I won’t be able to fully help those around me, so today I chose. I chose me first even though my choice is informed by both the needs of my family, my business goals, my creative work and has a direct impact on my health.
Now it’s time to put my feet across that line and stand on the other side. It’s just sand, so I can move that line if I want to – at any time I want to – but just the psychological decision to move is worth the effort.
Oh, and I’m still on 18061 words. Hm. I wonder if all this musing will help me develop my main character’s battle with choice too? Nothing wasted, hey?
May your weekend be one that brings new revelations for you and your loved ones. And may you have the fortitude to draw your line in the sand… and choose.
Much love and blessings,